Halloween on Saturday, school on Monday
Half term is nearly over. You've had a slower week, a few lie-ins, maybe a day out. And now the last weekend has arrived with two big things squeezed into it.
On Saturday, it's Halloween: dressing up, knocking on doors, masks, sudden screams and streets full of excited children after dark.
On Monday, it's back to school.
For lots of children, that's a fun-packed weekend. But if your child struggles with anxiety, you might already be seeing the signs. Tummy aches. More clinginess. Questions like "Do I have to go trick-or-treating?" or "How many sleeps until school?" Snappy moods that seem to come from nowhere.
If that's your house this week, you're not alone. I'm Fran, founder of The Calmness Crew and a mum who has been through hard times supporting my own child's anxiety. Here's a simple plan to help your child enjoy the weekend and walk back through the school gates on Monday feeling a little braver.
Why this weekend can feel so big
Anxious children feel safest when life is predictable. This weekend is the opposite:
- Halloween is designed to startle. Masks hide faces, people jump out, and loud bangs and screams are part of the fun. For a child whose body is already on high alert, that can feel genuinely frightening, not thrilling.
- Busy streets after dark. Crowds, doorbells, strangers and darkness are a lot for a sensitive child to take in at once.
- Sugar and late nights. Excitement, sweets and a later bedtime can leave children tired and wobbly by Sunday.
- The "Sunday feeling". After a week at home, the thought of Monday can grow bigger and bigger. Many parents notice the worries peak on Sunday evening.
None of this means your child can't enjoy Halloween. It just helps to plan a little, so the fun doesn't spill into a hard week back at school.
Halloween without the overwhelm
1. Talk it through in advance. Tell your child what will happen, where you'll go and how long you'll be out. Knowing the plan takes away a lot of the fear of the unknown.
2. Let them choose their level of spooky. A cosy pumpkin costume is just as good as a scary one. If masks bother them, try face paint or a hat instead.
3. Go early and keep it short. Trick-or-treat while it's still light, and stick to a few houses you know. Ten doors can feel like a big win.
4. Agree a calm signal. Choose a secret word or a hand squeeze that means "I want to go home." Then honour it straight away, without any fuss. Knowing they can leave often helps children stay.
5. Have a calm plan B. Not every child wants to go out, and that's completely fine. A cosy Halloween at home can be just as special: pumpkin carving, a not-too-scary film, a "spooky" picnic of themed snacks, and handing out sweets at your own door.
6. Bring their calm with them. If your child gets startled or overwhelmed, pause somewhere quieter and use one of the techniques from our first guide to calming anxious moments:
- Box breathing: in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4.
- 5-4-3-2-1 grounding: name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell and 1 you can taste. (On Halloween, this can become a game: "Can you spot 5 pumpkins?")
- Kind words: "It's just pretend. I am safe. I can go home whenever I need to."
7. Wind down before bed. Swap screens and sweets for a bath, a story and a cuddle. A calm end to Saturday makes Sunday much easier.
Your calm back-to-school plan
Sunday: a gentle reset
- Keep the day slow. A walk, some fresh air and time outdoors help burn off the Halloween excitement.
- Pack the bag together in the afternoon, not at bedtime. Uniform out, PE kit ready, water bottle filled. Fewer jobs on Monday means fewer worries.
- Make space for the worries. Try a "worry chat" after tea: "Is there anything about tomorrow that feels wobbly?" Listen without rushing to fix it. Sometimes just being heard is enough.
- Talk about the good bits too. Who are they looking forward to seeing? What's their favourite lesson?
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Back to the usual bedtime. Lights out at their normal school-night time, with a familiar, calming routine.
Monday morning: calm, not rushed
- Get up 10 minutes earlier. Rushing makes anxious feelings worse, for children and for us.
- Practise one technique before you leave. Three rounds of box breathing at the kitchen table takes less than a minute.
- Keep the goodbye short and warm. A long, drawn-out goodbye can make it harder. Try a special phrase you always use, like "Brave and calm, see you at 3."
- Give them something to hold onto. A note in their pocket, a matching bracelet, or a Calmness Crew friend on their bag, so a little bit of home goes with them.
- Plan something nice for after school. A walk to the park or their favourite tea gives them something to look forward to.
If Monday is still a struggle, that's OK. Many children take a few days to settle back in after a break. Our earlier post on easing back-to-school anxiety has more ideas to help.
A calm friend for the weekend, and beyond
You can't be with your child when a mask makes them jump on Saturday, or when the school gates close behind them on Monday. That's exactly why I created The Calmness Crew.
Our soft talking plushies gently guide children aged 5 to 16 through calming techniques at the press of a button:
- For Halloween night: the Portable Turtle (£24.99) clips to a costume bag and talks them through 5-4-3-2-1 grounding when everything feels too much.
- For back to school: the Portable Sloth (£24.99) clips to their school bag and plays kind affirmations for wobbly confidence at the gates.
- For panicky moments: the Portable Koala (£24.99) counts them through box breathing.
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For Sunday night and bedtime: the Weighted Koala (£44.99) gives a big, comforting cuddle with all three techniques.
"Has really helped my little boy with both school transition anxiety and also helps at bedtimes to calm and settle." – Tiffany F., parent
Not sure which friend is right for your child? Take our 30-second quiz.
Meet the Crew and hear their voices →
You can also watch our free Calmness Crew animations on YouTube together this weekend. They're a lovely, gentle way to practise the techniques before Monday.
Have a happy, calm Halloween, and good luck for Monday. You've got this, and so have they.
When to get extra support
The Calmness Crew is a comforting everyday tool, not a replacement for professional help. If your child's anxiety is stopping them going to school, eating or sleeping, or you're worried about their safety, please speak to your GP and your child's school. The NHS guide to anxiety in children has helpful advice, and the YoungMinds Parents Helpline is free on 0808 802 5544 (Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4pm). In an emergency, call 999 or NHS 111. You'll also find our free A–Z guide and daily journal on the blog.